


Someday My Prince Will Come

by PenUltimate



Category: Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: I probably failed!, I tried to write humour!, M/M, Other, a mix between comics and movie canon, but it's Venom so..., feelings? in front of my salad?, hopefully it makes sense, it's more likely than you think, it's not my fault that that's mushy!, just vague mentions, lbr I make everything too emo, mentions of cannibalism, nothing is described at all though, please accept my tragic attempts, they make each other better at life!, this is way too mushy soz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 00:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenUltimate/pseuds/PenUltimate
Summary: They are hussies, V hisses, causing Eddie to laugh.Don't laugh at me! Apologise!they snarl, annoyed.Eddie tries to smother his sniggering. He mostly succeeds.“Why do you think that?” he asks.They want to steal you from me.“Why?"Because you're the best host. But you are mine. Even though you're a moron, they retort.“Okay. Backhanded, but I'll take the compliments where I can get them.”-In which both parts of Venom learn more about feelings than either really thought was necessary.





	Someday My Prince Will Come

**Author's Note:**

> Not my finest work, but hopefully this is somewhat palatable.  
> Does this count as crack!fic? I think it might. I have no excuses. I blame the internet for enabling me.  
> Partially based on [this tumblr prompt](http://swingsetindecember.tumblr.com/post/179261367247/alyseofwonderland-swingsetindecember-where). (But I strayed wayyy off base? My bad. I'd love to see a more humourous version of it, though. Please. Someone. Provide for me.)

The Other opens the fridge with a rattle, staring at its contents. Which are... nothing.

Unacceptable.

Flowing along the floor, they make their way back to Eddie's shoulders where he lies dozing on the couch. Eddie has not left the apartment much in the past few days.

He is being _boring_ and now they're out of food, so the Other's world is basically ending.

“ **There is no food Eddie,”** they growl into their host's ear.

Eddie yelps, and promptly falls off the couch.

Eddie's Other always tries to compensate for his clumsiness, but they can only do so much.

“Wha'?” he mutters, squinting up at the black goo looking imploringly at him. His eyes are still a bit bleary. Eddie hadn't been asleep per se, more vegetating. But he is definitely fully awake now.

“ **No** _ **food**_ **. The fridge is** _ **empty**_ **,”** the Other replies forlornly, draping themselves across the space Eddie recently vacated on the couch. It's nice and warm.

“We'll grocery shop later,” he assures them.

The Other fears that Eddie is not taking these dire circumstances seriously enough.

“ **Food now,”** they insist.

“Fine, fine,” Eddie sighs, sitting up properly. He glances around for a minute, reorienting himself, before standing up.

His symbiote seeps back under his skin as he grabs his wallet and a jacket, locking the door behind them.

Outside the trees are changing colour. Sunset oranges bleed to rusty reds and along the street leaves are fluttering to the ground.

The symbiote is fascinated. They love seeing new facets of this strange world.

By the time they get to the shop, Eddie can feel how ravenous they are.

He pops an earbud in, connecting it to his phone to keep it anchored in his pocket.

“How come you didn't bother me for food earlier, dude?”

**You were resting. Tired. Weak, feeble human.**

“Thanks a bunch,” Eddie retorts with a huff.

They nod to Mrs Chen as they enter the store, blinking at the sudden fluorescent light.

**You're welcome.**

“I wasn't really tired, though. I just feel kinda... down. That happens sometimes,” Eddie explains, manoeuvring down the aisles.

**Feeling down? You're sad?**

“Yeah, kinda. I mean. Life just feels kinda suckish. At the moment. Just my brain being dumb. And money isn't going so well, which is rough.”

**Humans are always thinking about “bills” and “rent” and “money”. Stupid.**

“You're not wrong, but money is kind of important on this planet,” Eddie points out, bracing his hand against one of the lower shelves as he examines its contents.

He snaps his hand back when he notices a dark tendril snaking out to grab at the food. Self-control is not his symbiote's strongest trait. They're working on it.

**Tater tots?**

“Sure,” Eddie glances inside his wallet for a moment, “uh, one pack.”

**Only one?!**

“I told you, money’s a bit tight right now–”

**Then get more! Hungry! Not allowed to eat _most_ people. Or even pets. Hungry! **

“I- yeah. I'll try. I'll fix it. I'll try and find some work. I know I'm a mess, but I guess should try to be a better functioning one,” Eddie mutters, rubbing at his temple.

 **You** _ **are**_ **a mess,** the Other agrees.

Eddie rolls his eyes.

“How about this: I get more work, I get more money. Which means I can buy you more food. Better food.”

**Like... 5 packets of tater tots?**

Eddie grins, grabbing the pack of 20. “Yes, like 5 packets of tater tots.”

**Good.**

He's still smiling when he reaches Mrs Chen at the check-out.

“Is this all?” she asks, seeming concerned.

Eddie tries to reassure her with a smile. His Other doesn't think she looks very reassured. Clearly, she agrees with them about the food shortage.

The symbiote likes Mrs Chen. She is on their “do not eat” list.

Their list is much shorter than Eddie's.

“Yeah. For now.”

 

* * *

 

“Y'know, it's okay to think of yourself as your own, uh, person.”

Eddie's Other is confused. They push this confusion towards Eddie.

**?**

“I mean... I don't... Just because we have two distinct personalities, doesn't mean we can't be, um, _together._ We're a– a unit. I know you're scared that we'll be separated again, but we're not gonna let that happen. You can feel things – other than hunger – and think things just for yourself. We don't have to be the same in all things. We can compromise and work together, but we don't have to be _identical._ I think it's more interesting if we're not. Doesn't– doesn't life feel more full to you? When there's more to us? More to share?”

The Other feels... they're not sure what they feel. Things were never so confusing before they met Eddie. So complicated. They have never been distinct. They have always been a part of something larger than themselves. Part of their race, part of their pod, part of their host.

They have never felt so much, thought so much, always swept up in biological needs and collective imperatives before.

They have never been so sated. So content. Now they have time to think and to feel.

At the moment, they feel taut. As if something is coiled up too tightly within them.

They flick through Eddie's mental folder of feelings – although it's more of a bathtub full of scraps of paper, rather than anything organised or coherent. Humans are so messy. Or maybe that's just Eddie.

At last they find the sensation they are searching for.

Nervous. Uncertain.

“ **We are not Venom?”**

“We can be Venom, if you want,” Eddie assures them. “I can be Eddie, you can be... V? We can be Venom.”

 **Mm.** The symbiote mulls it over, not convinced.

“We can be like two in one,” Eddie suggests, only partially aware of his Other's inner turmoil.

Two in one. Two halves of one whole.

“ **Two in one is acceptable. You don't want us to leave?”**

“No, V. Never.”

Warmth suffuses them. They will have to figure out what this emotion is called. It's a good one. It makes them less hungry.

Eddie returns to his emails and video editing suite, and his Other leaves him to it. It twines itself up between the cells in his body, running through his veins, darting around his every cell. It's a tight fit, but they make it work.

Eddie should eat more, make more space for them. That would be nice.

He is working so that he can get them more food. Better food; and a nicer place to live maybe. His Other doesn't care much about that, but if Eddie is happy, they're happy.

He is whiney sometimes, but he takes their wants into consideration, so they will do the same.

To this effect, they let their thoughts linger over what Eddie has suggested to them.

Their sense of identity is very... nebulous. Uncertain and ever-shifting. They feel like a quivering ball of need and confusion in comparison to their host's concept of self.

But it seems Eddie would like more from them. More _of_   them. Of... V.

They can learn. They can be more.

They will be more.

 

* * *

 

Eddie is sleeping. His Other can hear his deep breathing, feel his slumber through their mind where they are connected to his very neurons.

As they often do at this part of their routine now, the Other spills part of its physical form out through Eddie's pores. They ooze along the floor, still connected to their shared, human body.

Eddie fell asleep in the bed tonight, so they sink through the gap beneath his bedroom door. All of this is much easier when Eddie sleeps on the sofa, but his Other knows this is not good for their human body. Once they are in the living room, they turn on the television and spool themselves out upon the couch.

Eddie's consciousness sits warm and comfortable in the back of their awareness.

They turn their attention towards the images on the tv. Some sort of cartoon. Involving singing.

Excellent.

As colours flash by onscreen, memories flicker in their mind.

The television has been a helpful source of ideas on how to be a person.

They aren't trying to be human, but Eddie has asked them to become their own... something. To have more to share. They have been thinking. They have been trying.

Eddie usually thinks of their combined being as a “we”. But he also thinks of them as separate beings in one body. The Other can sense that he finds it all very baffling.

They feel the same way.

But the longer they are One, the more entwined they become. Their wants, their needs, their fears, all tangled together in the crowded landscape of their mind.

The Other does not think of themselves as Venom. They think of them and Eddie combined as Venom.

They are glad to be “V”, though. It helps Eddie to communicate with them when he has something to call them.

They have never had something all to themselves. Not even a name.

Earth has been so very different. So strange.

They have been with other hosts, linked to them, inhabited their bodies, on planets far from this one. But none have ever thought of them as Eddie does. Their previous hosts on other planets had delighted in their power, wanted to use them for their own gains. And the symbiote had been content to join them on their journeys. But their hosts had been abysmal conversationalists. Those hosts had called them a parasite, treated them as an annoyance. They hadn't wanted partnership _,_ only the powers that came with the “alien”.

Those previous partners had been disgusted at the symbiotes's existence, glad for the day they would eventually be parted.

They all used the symbiote, but did not desire to be One. Not the way the symbiote did.

Then in the lab, being experimented on, _rejected._ Incompatible. Again and again, the hatred and the horror from their hosts. The bile that had been spewed at them.

The hunger, the loneliness.

The Other had felt corrupted by the thoughts of all of their past hosts, had felt disgusting, poisonous. They had rifled through their previous hosts' minds, through their memories. Among them, the had found a word that resonated with them, a word that felt like it defined them. A substance that exists within, but only hurts if threatened, only used when hungry or attacked. Part of a larger being. Venom.

That is what Eddie's Other wants to be. Harmless to their host, but capable of defending themselves. They never wanted to be helpless again.

For so long they had wandered the galaxy, always surrounded yet never complete. Never alone, but always lonely. They had been unable to find another they could be with in a way that would complete them, in a way that would make them feel _whole._

Then they had met Eddie.

Eddie is perfect. With him, they are what they were always meant to be.

The Other doesn't have to be Venom alone anymore. Doesn't have to sustain the lonely existence they feared they would never escape. Used but unwanted.

They know Eddie still wonders why the Other betrayed their own race, why they would forsake their fellow Klyntar for him.

He doesn't see how well they fit together yet. Better than anybody else ever has or ever will.

He doesn't not know what it was like to exist among the swarm, the hoard. What it was like to be rejected and unwanted by every host the Other had ever had.

Eddie is not like the hosts at Life Foundation or in other parts of the Universe. Eddie would rather be part of Venom than be alone in his body.

Dan is helping them to achieve that. Harmonious symbiosis. Dan is studying their dietary needs. They will not eat Dan. Probably.

Adrenaline is one requirement Dan has identified. Now they visit theme parks and watch horror movies.

They only go on the smaller rides, because Eddie is a coward. But still.

Plus, there are all of Eddie's near-accidents due to his clumsy disposition. Even those provide a certain thrill.

Phenethylamine is also an important part of their diet. They make sure to eat plenty of chocolate to satisfy that need so that they wouldn't crave consuming people to get their fill.

It is a blissful existence. Earth is a paradise in comparison to their home planet.

Tater tots, chocolate, rollercoasters, late night tv and Eddie.

Life couldn't be better.

A new show begins to play. The Other turns their attention back to the screen, ready to learn all that these “Gilmore Girls” can teach them.

 

* * *

 

Their evening out with Anne and Dan was fun. They ate Sannakji. It was delicious.

Anne and Dan had seemed only mildly disturbed.

But now they are walking home, and the air is filled with a winter chill.

A cold breeze brushes by, making them shiver.

V has been attempting to convince Eddie that they are better than any item of clothing or blanket. So far, he has been resistant to their efforts. (Eddie is a little bitch about nudity.) They are working on it.

This feels like an opportune moment. They manifest as a covering for Eddie's hands and curl another part of themselves around his neck.

“Don't think I don't know what you're doing, V,” Eddie mutters into the mic of his silent headphones.

 **You don't want to be warmer?** V asks sarcastically, curling tendrils about his head to create a hat as well.

Eddie huffs a laugh, his breath visible in the air.

“You're right. Thanks, sweetheart.”

They walk home feeling warm.

 

* * *

 

Venom does not care so much about hurting people.

Their fellow symbiotes from Klyntar had always said they needed to find creatures with organs and consume them to survive. That was what they had been sent here to do. To possess and consume. Control those they inhabited and ravage the living things on other planets.

Colonise and enslave.

That was what their race wanted.

That is not what the Other wants.

The Other wants to be united with another being. To share their life and experience. Symbiosis, not parasitism.

When they had expressed this, they had been ridiculed.

This had only been reinforced by their previous hosts off planet, who had been bloodthirsty, delighted in killing. It was addictive, the bloodlust. The need had stayed with them.

But Eddie has been helping them develop their empathy. And what matters to Eddie matters to his Other.

So, no more eating people. No matter how delicious they are.

Except for bad guys.

Which leaves them with plenty of snacks on this planet, really.

 

* * *

 

They are investigating a case involving missing children. Eddie is preparing a report on it, feeling passionate about his work again.

V is becoming much better at identifying feelings

Eddie is feeling worried for some reason. V doesn't like that.

They emerge from Eddie's shoulder, partially manifesting beside him.

“ **What's wrong?”**

Eddie blinks at them, eyes unfocused, still deep in thought. “I was just wondering... Do you have a family or something? Out there somewhere?”

The Klyntar are not truly separate organisms. They are a miasma of existence, all connected should they wish to be. They are particularly connected to their pod and those they spawned from. What humans might call a family.

“ **Sort of. Why?”**

“Just thinking... Have you contacted them? To let them know you're okay?”

“ **Do you communicate with your family?”**

Eddie flinches slightly, but his frown is brief and his sorrow fleeting.

“I don't have any family anymore. But most people talk to their families, yeah.”

“ **Should I communicate with my family? Is this relevant to becoming more of myself?”**

Eddie shrugs. “Up to you, V.”

“ **I will think about it.”**

 

* * *

 

V decides to communicate with the Eldest in their pod. It is merely a matter of mental connection and a radio tower.

Eddie doesn't ask, merely naps.

After exchanging greetings and assurances of good health, V is taken aback by the turn the conversation takes.

“ _ **There has been a movement here, since your faction left on your exploratory mission.”**_

“ **Oh?”**

“ _ **Yes. Some of the younger Klyntar. Well. They began to desire 'true symbiosis' as they are calling it. They have decided they would like to be truly united with any hosts they should find. To only bond with willing hosts. They heard from messengers that you have achieved such a thing.”**_

“ **Oh.”**

“ _ **This is true?”**_

“ **This is true.”**

“ _ **I will have to inform the collective. The message caused quite the uproar when it arrived. This possibility was unexpected. I suspect a changing tide of opinion. It seems you were right, sibling. It is possible after all.”**_

“ **It is,”** V affirms. This is all an extremely surprising turn of events. They are excited to tell Eddie. All along, they had been derided as a fool. But they had been right. But now they were whole.

And now there is the possibility that other Klyntar may join them in their beliefs.

Eddie was right. This was a good idea.

 

* * *

 

“They want to come _here?_ To _Earth?_

“ **Yes!”** V replies excitedly, their tongue curling in the air.

Eddie does not seem so excited.

“Did you tell them to come here? Why would you do that?”

“ **No, but they said some of them might be interested in coming. You told me I should communicate with them. That I should talk to my family.”**

“Yeah, but I didn't tell you to bring them here!”

“ **Why not? I have been watching the television. People often visit their families.”**

Eddie is being _cruel._ Why does he not want their family to visit? Their family could be his family too.

“There's a difference between a family visit and an alien invasion!”

Alien? The Other does not feel excited anymore. They sink back beneath Eddie's skin, questions echoing through his thoughts instead.

**Why? Because they are not human?**

“Yes! What if they eat everyone?”

**They said they wouldn't.**

“And you just took their word for it and gave them the all clear? Without even asking me first?”

**You didn't say that I had to.**

“A normal person would gather that it was implied! From the context of them probably wanting to eat people!”

**They just want to visit!**

“They're cannibal alien parasites!”

The Other feels vicious, feels like they're bleeding.

**Like I am a “cannibal alien parasite”? Because we are not human, we are not a people? We cannot be trusted? You said I could be a person! Asshole! Make up your mind!**

Angry, that is how they feel. They have felt it before. Too often.

But there is something more than that. Something worse.

They feel empty, but not hungry. In pain, but not injured. It is terrible, and they don't care what it's called. They don't want to know.

“That's not. That's not what I meant.” Eddie seems to be at a loss for words.

“...V?”

They don't bother to reply.

 

* * *

 

Eddie tries plying them with gifts of all their favourite foods.

When that doesn't work he offers to go looking for bad guys for a snack. He gets no response.

He promises that they can pick which movie to watch on tv. He gets no answer.

The Other doesn't know why they don't want to talk to Eddie. Every time they think about it... they ache.

After a few hours of this, Eddie sighs and sits on the concrete floor of the balcony. This is his favourite part of their new apartment.

“V, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been such a jerk about your family coming to visit.”

The Other perks up slightly at this, listening intently.

“Of course, you should be able to talk to your family. We'll have to warn people before they come, get things ready for them so that nothing goes wrong. But I should have tried to figure things out with you in the first place instead of freaking out. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'll try to do better. I'm sorry.”

V does not feel so empty anymore. Instead there is the familiar warmth they normally feel in all their best moments with Eddie. They seep from Eddie's wrist, curling their mimicry of a human hand around his.

Eddie lets out a relieved breath, placing his free palm over the side of his abdomen, where he can feel Venom swirling about slightly.

They watch the sunset through the same pair of eyes, content.

 

* * *

 

“We're thinking of moving. With the new work coming in we can afford a nicer place and there's an apartment I'm eyeing two blocks over,” Eddie says, leaning against the kitchen counter. V is squirming about on the countertop, rearranging the condiments to their liking.

“Still in the same area?” Anne sounds dubious.

“We like it here. Interesting people,” Eddie shrugs, even though she can't see him. He doesn't mention that there's also a nice, high rate of violent crime.

“I'll bet,” Anne huffs, but doesn't comment further.

They can hear cupboards opening and closing over the phone and some cutlery being moved around. Probably Anne setting up for dinner.

Which reminds Eddie that he should really get on that. He pulls a packet of ramen – the nice stuff, V is picky as hell – out and puts on the kettle.

“ **We don't care about where we live.”**

Eddie pulls a face at his other half. Where they're living now can only generously be called a studio apartment. It's more of a bedsit really.

An actual, decent studio apartment would be nice.

“That's because you're living in my body for free, jerk. Where's my rent money, huh?”

V sticks their tongue out at Eddie and his stern facade cracks. He throws them a wink to show them he's not serious, before returning to his conversation with Anne.

“How's work going?” he asks.

“It's wonderful, some new interns– sorry, just a second, Dan is home. Honey, I'm talking to Eddie!”

There's rustling and some movement, before Dan's voice responds.

“Oh, hey, put them on speaker!”

Anne obliges.

“I sent on the report you asked for,” Dan says. “Did you get it?”

“Yeah, thanks. V is gonna pass it along to his people.”

“No problem. Who are they planning on contacting?” Dan asks.

“ **Governments. They will ask for permission to visit. Or to stay.”**

The plan is to ask if any country would be willing to let them interview hosts. The Klyntar then want to offer to bond with willing humans who are a match.

“That'll be interesting! I hope it goes well. Are you gonna, y'know, _reveal_ yourselves?”

“ **No. We don't want anyone to know we exist. We're not stupid. Well. Maybe Eddie is, but not me.”**

Eddie scoffs and pokes V's blob-like shape with his finger in retribution, but the symbiote ignores him.

“Are we still on for dinner this week?” Anne interjects, more than used to their shenanigans.

“Of course, we'll be there. We should let you go, though. We'll see you Friday,” Eddie assures her.

“See you soon guys,” Anne replies.

“Miss you already!” Dan adds in the background.

 

* * *

 

“ _ **We have a slight problem.”**_

V is immediately alert. They had already sent the relevant medical reports - sanitised of any identifying data - and the two planets were in talks, which seemed to be going well. What could have gone wrong so quickly? 

“ **What?”**

“ _ **It is somewhat difficult to explain.**_

“ **Try.”**

“ _ **Alright. We have been made aware that rather than screening for any applicants for symbiosis, many Klyntar wish to offer themselves... to your host.”**_

“ **What?”**

“ _ **There is an idea that he is the perfect host. Many here wish to join with him specifically.”**_

“ **Why? Why do they not find their own host? He is mine!”**

“ _ **They think he is the best host available, it seems. He has already been proven to be willing and your glowing report of your bond has gone down a little too well.”**_

This is terrible. They should never have said nice things about Eddie. Bad mistake.

**“Tell them Eddie is messy. And smelly.”**

He isn't. Anymore. But if they think that, maybe they'll leave him _alone_.

“ _ **We don't have noses.”**_

“ **He can smell himself.”**

“ _ **Okay... I do not think they're going to listen at this point, but I can try?”**_

“ **Yes, good.”**

V spends the rest of the evening languishing as a puddle on the kitchen floor.

They hope Eddie asks them what is wrong, but also don't want him to notice.

“Moping” Anne would call it. She would be right. Pathetic.

Perhaps they absorbed that from Eddie. It might be contagious. 

But in their contemplation, they come up with a plan.

1\. Be the best symbiote Eddie could ever want. Not difficult, they are already a delight (Anne said so). They will just have to make sure Eddie knows this.

2\. Never go near any Klyntar who may want Eddie as a host.

3\. ???

4\. This plan already has too many points.

5\. Success.

“ **EDDIE!”**

Eddie, who had been typing away at his laptop, flinches at the sudden noise.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

V slinks along the floor, flowing up Eddie's legs and swirling in front of him in the air.

“ **I am a delight.”**

Eddie smiles, amused for some reason.

“Yes, dear,” Eddie replies.

V licks Eddie's cheek in reward, before becoming a blanket for his legs and curling around his shoulders.

Eddie pats them absentmindedly, bemused. Then he returns to typing up his latest story. He has been doing a mixture of presenting video reports and writing freelance stories for print lately.

He's doing well, feels proud.

Already, things are going according to V's plan. Things are looking up.

 

* * *

 

“So, news is some of the Klyntar are visiting in a few months,” Eddie prompts.

**Mm.**

“That's pretty fast space-faring.”

 **Yes,** V grumbles.

“You don't seem all too happy,” Eddie points out. “Don't you want to meet them?”

Time for phase two of the plan.

**We will have to go to Canada to do that. Very far away.**

Eddie snorts. “Not that far, sweetheart.”

 **Cold,** V whines, bringing to the forefront of their minds images of snow and emptiness.

“That's not what the entirety of Canada looks like, babe. Besides, it'll be summer by the time they arrive.”

 **What if we get lost?** V tries, slightly comforted by the terms of endearment, against their better judgement.

Manipulation, that's what this was. And they were weak for succumbing to it.

“GPS and Google Maps, love. I thought you wanted to go see them. What made you change your mind?”

It is as if those buzzing insects – bees? wasps? – are inside of them. Like trying to look through Eddie's eyes when he is tired. Everything is cloudy and blurred and V does not want to think about it.

Stupid family. They should have known this would happen. Visiting is never good. What had they been thinking? “Friends” tried to warn them, but did they listen?

Of course not.

They had been so blind. And now, just as had happened to Rachel, their siblings would flirt with their partner and everything was the worst.

If they tell Eddie this, he will probably call them a drama queen. But they don't like that term and Eddie is wrong.

Rachel is incompetent at handling her relatives. Who can V look to for inspiration? What would Phoebe do in this situation?

She would cause a distraction. One of their frequent “tantrums” as Eddie rudely calls them. Perfect.

**We're h** **ungry. Food?**

“Ha, I don't think so. We just had dinner an hour ago.”

**_I'm_ hungry. Food!**

“We don't have the time right now! We'll eat in half an hour.”

**FOOD!**

Eddie throws up his hands in frustration, almost dislodging his earphone when he lets go of the mic attached.

“Fine! I'll grab a sandwich at the bodega.”

**Meat!**

“Okay, jeez, you're so fussy.”

**Not fussy, Eddie. No need to be rude.**

The human merely rolls his eyes.

Now that they are getting what they want – because they always want food – V curls a tendril of themselves around Eddie's midriff. He smiles in response to the touch.

Distraction seems to be an excellent tactic. Now they just have to keep Eddie distracted when the other Klyntar visit.

And get him to stay the hell away from Canada.

 

* * *

 

V isn't sure how Eddie talked them into this. _It'll be good for you blah blah blah you might regret it if you don't blah blah blah I'll buy us both some meatlovers' pizza on the way..._

Ah, yes. That was how.

Stupid, delicious pizza.

They have had waking nightmares – since they never truly sleep – about what is happening back on Klyntar. Their fellow symbiotes talking about Eddie, knowing how wonderful he is. How dare they.

It's all making them feel so – so – so something. Something _bad_. They are _not_ pleased.

What if Eddie wants them to leave? They don't want that.

What if he wants to replace them? That would be even worse.

But V also doesn't want to let Eddie know why they are reluctant to go. Doesn't want to admit that they are being a pussy.

They are embarrassed. And scared.

It is Not Fun.

Being a person isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Sensing how tense his other half is, Eddie foregoes the lobby where they had arranged to wait for V's fellow symbiotes. It had been a bit difficult to finagle a meeting with them without admitting to V's existance, but press passes are great. They're in the hotel where the interspecies conference is taking place. Trudeau isn't present, but other government officials are, along with some doctors, scientists and the volunteer hosts. It is going to be a sort of interview process, and it's already underway. They are planning on waiting here until it's over and the symbiotes walk out with their new hosts.

But given the way V is feeling, Eddie thinks it's a better idea to hang out in the bathroom for awhile. He has a feeling they need the chance to talk.

He sighs deeply and leans against the wall. Everything is pristine and way too fancy for a bathroom in his opinion.

“Sweetheart?”

V slips into Eddie's hand as a shadow of his own, fingers interlocked. They prod him mentally to show they're listening.

“There's a whirlpool going on inside you right now, love. What's got you so tied up? We don't have to go in there, I just thought you wanted to. We can leave, if you like. But either way, I'd really like it if you could tell me what's bothering you.”

V grumbles unhappily to themselves, before winding around Eddie's wrists and ankles and waist and neck. They drape themselves over him possessively, not pulling him anywhere or keeping him stuck where he is. Just holding him.

Eddie sighs and relaxes into the embrace, petting the part of his symbiote that's spread across his chest, over his heart.

 **They want to... proposition you,** V admits.

“Who wants to what?”

 **Don't be stupid, it doesn't suit you,** V growls.

“Hey, no need for that,” Eddie chastises, looking slightly hurt.

**Sorry.**

“Alright.”

Eddie leaves it at that, patiently waiting to see what else his other half might say.

There is a new word V has learned from the period dramas they have been watching recently, which they think applies.

 **They are hussies,** they hiss, causing Eddie to laugh.

 **Don't laugh at me! Apologise!** V snarls, annoyed.

Eddie tries to smother his sniggering. He mostly succeeds.

Often, Eddie finds things humourous for reasons beyond their comprehension. They love him, but he's very strange sometimes.

Once he's gotten himself under control, bracing himself against the wall for a moment, he responds to their accusation.

“Why do you think that?” he asks.

**They want to steal you from me.**

“Why?”

 **Because you're the best host. But you are** _ **mine.**_ **Even though you're a moron,** they retort.

“Okay. Backhanded, but I'll take the compliment. But why would they want a broke, boring journalist for a host?”

**Human money is meaningless.**

“Fair,” Eddie concedes, with a tilt of his head.

**They w** **ant someone willing to share their life, their body. Someone like you.**

“Well, they're going to have to find someone else, then. I'm taken.”

**You do not want another?**

“Of course not, babe. Is this why you've been so pouty these past few weeks?”

**Not pouty.**

“Okay, grouchy then.”

 **Not grouchy!** they snap, making Eddie snort.

**So rude. Don't know why I like you.**

“Oh, you like me, huh?”

**Mm. Little bit.**

Now Eddie is grinning.

“Hey, are there any of the symbiotes here you actually like?”

**Some. Only a few.**

“Do they want to bond with me?”

**No. Told them you smell.**

“What?”

**Told them you were messy.**

“Oh, and _I'm_ the rude one here?”

**Yes, that too.**

“At least you keep me humble.”

**I try. It's very difficult.**

“I'm sure,” Eddie replies, rolling his eyes. (It's not just himself he's full of after all). “Well, why don't you and I blow this joint and go for something to eat? There's probably a restaurant somewhere around here that serves oyster.”

**Oyster!**

Delighted at the prospect of oysters, V remains silent as Eddie does a quick Google search.

The symbiote is not a fool. They're not about to mention that they had had a whole pizza for lunch.

They quickly exit the building and make their way to the restaurant, feeling at home among the city sounds surrounding them. The hustle and bustle of people moving around them, cars driving by, teenagers hanging around outside a nearby store. The scent of curry and burnt tires are carried towards them on the breeze.

“So, those Klyntar who you like? The ones you told that I was smelly?”

**Yes...**

“You can contact them mentally, right?”

**I can.**

“Then why don't you contact just them, just the ones you want to talk to, and we can meet them after they've found their own hosts?”

 **Okay,** V hums, happy at this new plan. Two heads (sort of) are better than one, it seems. They will have to remember that next time.

**What if other symbiotes attempt to... woo you?**

“I'm all yours, V. Always.”

 **Good.** V curls up in Eddie's stomach, satisfied.

They reach the restaurant and are seated quickly since it's an off-peak time.

Eddie opens the menu, considering his options.

 **Oysters!** V demands instantly. Eddie's lips twitch upwards and he nods.

“Why do you like oysters so much, anyway?”

**Not dead food!**

“Ah... I did not realise that,” Eddie says, shuddering slightly. He is still squeamish sometimes. When taken by surprise. Big baby.

**Nothing wrong with wanting to eat alive things.**

Eddie raises an unimpressed eyebrow. Their waitress drops off a carafe of water. Eddie fills up a glass.

**...if they're bad. Or don't suffer.**

“Right,” Eddie says, drawing out the word needlessly. Doubtfully, even. Judgementally, some might say. This raises V's hackles.

**I think you should try to be more culturally sensitive, Eddie.**

Eddie chokes on his sip of water.

Satisfied that they've made their point, V sneaks a tendril out of Eddie's forearm to steal a breadstick.

He rolls his eyes and pretends not to notice, returning his attention to attempting to catch the gaze of the waitress.

V begins to hum the Judge Judy theme tune. They love that show. Humans are terrible.

Under Eddie's clothes, where no one can see, they splay more of their tendrils across Eddie's skin in a full-body hug of appreciation. Their host always seems to find a way to provide for them.

Eddie orders and sticks an earphone in, people watching out the window and humming along to the voice in his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk, the main premise of this somehow became me fiddling with trying to subvert the “born (scary) yesterday” trope. I hope it works? Kinda? I triiied.  
> Leave me comments to show you love me as much as I love you. Validate me. x


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